A Little Of This...Some Of That

Side By Side of Speak and Twilight

2010-05-17T22:14:00.005-05:00

So, I was just watching Speak on Lifetime, and as I was watching I noticed there are a lot of similarities between it and Twilight. So lets begin...**Spoiler alert**

These are not in any order.

Speak: Melinda Sordino walks into Biology class, only seat available is next to Dave Petrakis.

Twilight: Bella Swan walks into Biology class, only seat available is next to Edward Cullen.

Speak: Melinda passes out when she's about to dissect a frog. Dave attempts to wake her up, and claims his dad is a doctor.

Twilight: Bella nearly passes out during the blood-typing. Edwards dad is a doctor.

Speak: Melinda is attacked by Andy Evans at the end of the movie, she picks up some chemical and throws it in his eyes.

Twilight: Bella is attacked by James, and sprays pepper spray into his eyes.

Speak: While Melinda does not talk through most of the movie, there is internal monologues.

Twilight: Bella has internal monologues at certain points in the film.

That's all I can think of for now, if you can think of any leave it in a comment!

**I must point out that I am in no way saying Speak is like Twilight. Twilight is about fictional characters, while Speak is about a very serious subject. I just wanted to point out the ironic similarities.**

Alone

2010-05-07T23:57:00.003-05:00

As I lay here on my bed, my thoughts wander to him. Why did he leave me?

I can no longer cry; my eyes have run out of tears. My pain, while still present, has turned to anger.

How dare he do this to me, after all we had been through! How could he just pick up and leave? Not just him, the whole family. I apparently wasn’t even worth a goodbye. I kept their secret and this is the thanks I get?

My heart was broken…more than broken...it was missing. When he left, my world crumbled.

I am alone.

** S Meyer owns it**

Obsession

2010-05-07T23:51:00.007-05:00

“Alice! Let’s go, the bell is about to ring!”

“Give me two seconds, Bella, a girl has got to look good!”

I tapped my foot as I impatiently watched Alice finish applying her lip-gloss.

I used to hate living right across the street from a high school. During summer vacation, the bell would still ring and wake me up every morning. It drove me nuts. I can’t remember the last time I actually slept in.

I definitely do not hate living across from Port Angeles high school any longer. My best friend Alice and I attend the Olympic Christian School. Our school starts thirty minutes earlier than public school, which sucks on the waking up part, but it means we get out of school 30 minutes earlier. This is how we discovered them.

A few weeks ago after school, Alice and I were at my house hanging out on the front porch. That stupid bell rang and Alice joked how she was going to go the office of the school and complain. She started crossing the street and so I ran after her.

As the kids were piling out of the school, we definitely looked out of place with our uniforms on. We got a few catcalls due in part to our short skirts. As we were both laughing and heading back to my house we saw the two hottest guys ever.

The first boy, whom I quickly called dibs on, had the coolest hair color I had ever seen. It was bronze and messy, and I just wanted to run my fingers through it. He also had the greenest eyes I had ever seen. His clothes fit his body perfectly, snug but not tight. He had to be a swimmer. I seriously had to find out.

Alice quickly started drooling over the second guy. He was blonde with blue eyes. Cliché yes, but hot non-the-less. He had the same body type as boy number one.

Alice stopped dead in her tracks staring at this boy. I ran into her as I was staring at boy number one. The boys were walking towards Maple Street, which meant they lived nearby. This was not good…for them.

So all of this happened a few weeks ago. Now Alice and I had a routine. We would come home from school and quickly change our clothes and pretty up our faces for our stalking. Yeah, I said it, stalking. We changed our clothes to fit in. Nothing stands out more than two girls in a uniform at a public school.

We would walk over to the school and ‘casually’ stand around by the fence that ran along the whole distance of the property. When the boys would walk by us, we would wait about one minute and then we would follow. Yes, follow. We would follow them right until they would turn onto Maple Street; when they did, we would continue straight and then circle the block back to my house. We were seriously getting toned from all this walking.

“Ok, I’m ready. Let’s go!”

“Bout time! Maybe we should talk to them today,” I half asked, half told Alice as we made our way over to the fence.

“Bella, they are the guys which means they need to make the first move,” Alice replied as she nervously picked at the hem of her shirt.

“Then why haven’t they done it yet?” I asked, but Alice shushed me right when the bell rang.

We were at our post, as we had been calling it. Boy number one and boy number two walked by, smiled at us, and then continued walking. We waited our minute, which in reality was like thirty seconds, and proceeded to follow.

“His ass is so cute, don’t you think his ass is cute?” Alice asked as she for the millionth time check out boy number two.

“Yup,” I answered while staring at boy number ones ass.

“Bella, oh my god, tie your shoe! Tie your shoe!”

I looked over to Alice; she had a horrified look on her face. The boys had stopped walking and were talking to a third boy.

On instinct, I dropped down to tie my shoe. One problem. I was wearing flip-flops.

“Fuck, Alice! Look!” I tried to whisper.

Alice looked down and cursed me for my shoe choice. I fiddled with the thong of the flip-flop for a minute, knowing I looked ridiculous.

The three boys were laughing. The third one started to walk away.

“See ya Friday, Edward. Jasper, tell your sister to call me!” he called out as he left, while boy number two flipped him the bird. I’m guessing he was Jasper.

Edward! Boy number one had a name. He totally looked like an Edward. Alice smiled at me and gave me the ‘Yes! We know their names’ look. The boys, Edward and Jasper, started to walk again. I stood back up and Alice and I continued toward Maple St.

After a few minutes of walking, I tried to whisper to Alice.

“Something is off, we are walking slower than usual.”

“I thought that, too. Just stay calm.” She replied through clenched teeth.

We kept staring at each other wide-eyed and both expecting the other to give an order.

If we would have been paying attention, we would have noticed our pace slowed even more.

“Bella!” Alice screamed.

“Wha…Oomph”

I heard laughing. Boy laughing. Boy laughing that was right in my face. While my face was pressed against Edwards chest. Wow, he smelled really good.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I blushed as I pushed myself away from Edward.

“Hey, no problem. Bella, right?” he replied.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Your friend there called your name.” He pointed to Alice, who was now standing next to me.

Geez, could I be any smoother?

“Hey, I’m Alice,” she said extending her hand and smile to Jasper.

“Well hello little lady, I’m Jasper,” he replied with a slight southern twang and then kissed Alice’s hand.

I looked over and saw Edward fake gagging himself over his friends’ corny introduction. I could not help but laugh, and soon Edward was laughing as well.

“Why hello, Bella, I’m Edward.” He laughed as he mocked Jasper and grabbed my hand. But as soon as he touched me, it was no longer funny. We looked at each other in wonder as my skin tingled from his touch. I think he felt it, too.

“So are we going to need a restraining order?” Edward asked as he slowly let go of my hand.

I could feel my cheeks immediately turn hot. Oh god, he knew. I couldn’t speak.

“We’ve been waiting for you ladies to talk to us. What’s it been, Edward, like three weeks now?” Jasper asked.

“We have no clue what you are talking about!” Alice tried to play innocent.

I still could not speak. Edward kept smiling at me and I was smiling back.

“I’m just glad I know your name now.” Jasper smiled at Alice. Alice blushed. I don’t think I have ever seen Alice blush.

I finally found my voice.

“So if you guys have known this whole time, why didn’t you talk to us? Why did you keep letting us follow you?” I asked, still blushing.

“You were pursuing us. We were waiting for you to make the move.” Edward smiled.

“I freaking’ told you, Alice! Now we look like idiots!” I gushed.

“Sorry, Bella…” Alice started, but Edward cut her off.

“You don’t look like idiots. You look pretty good from where I’m standing.”

Mr. Smooth talker made me blush even more.

“Look, you guys want to come over and hang out?” Jasper asked us both, but his eyes never left Alice.

“Of course we do!” Alice beamed.

“Shall we then?” Jasper asked as he extended his arm to Alice. And of course Alice accepted.

Edward fake gagged once again, making me giggle as Alice and Jasper started to walk ahead of us. We started walking and Edward casually grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers together. I looked down and smiled at our joined hands and the tingly feeling that accompanied it.

I have never been happier to live across the street from Port Angeles high school.

**S Meyer owns it**

Prelude

2010-05-07T23:51:00.006-05:00

It was the perfect day; Edward, Nessie, and I were on the lake in our boat. The lake was a sparkling blue and while the sun was shining high, the clouds formed the perfect barrier from the heat. It was so beautiful.

We had stopped the engine once we reached the middle of the lake. Edward was sketching the scenery while Nessie and I were reading her favorite book, Where the Sidewalk Ends.

Out of nowhere, another boat appeared. Edward stopped sketching and greeted the other couple. The woman had fiery red hair and wore a white fur shawl, which was odd as it was summer. The man had dirty blond hair that was tied into a ponytail and wore jeans with no shirt.

Without saying a word, the other couple jumped into our boat. Nessie screamed while I jumped in front of her to shield her. The man tried to punch Edward. The woman charged me. There we were, fighting these people, whom we had never seen before.

I was frantic; time seemed to be moving in slow motion.

As fast as the couple appeared, they disappeared. They literally vanished into thin air. There was no trace of them or their boat. I turned to where Nessie had hidden. She was gone. Where was my little girl?

Edward came rushing to me. We were both crying. What just happened? Where is our child?

I looked into Edwards eyes. He seemed different. The faint lines of crow’s feet near his eyes were gone. His face was smoother. I touched my own face, and it felt smoother as well. Edward caressed my cheek and asked me what was going on.

Before I could even begin to answer, another man appeared. For fear of what might happen, Edward stood in front of me and demanded to know who he was.

He told us he had found something that we might want to see. Reluctantly, we followed him in our boat to the lake’s shore. Once we arrived, the man pointed out a child’s remains.

It was a little boy. I remembered his face from news broadcasts. He had gone missing a few weeks ago. I was terrified. I cried out Nessie’s name. I needed to find her.

Edward turned to the man to ask him what was going on, but he was gone without a trace. Edward grabbed my arm gently, to take us back to the boat. The boat was gone. The lake was gone. There was not even a hint of water. Only grass surrounded us.

Edward and I stared at each other. He looked like he did when I first met him when we were seventeen years old. I was crying out, trying to understand what was going on. I was trying to play through my mind what just happened. I knew I was looking for someone, but now I couldn’t remember whom.

All of a sudden we were in my childhood home in Forks. Charlie was there, but it was as if he couldn’t see us. We stood in the living room both shocked. I looked around the room, and when my eyes landed back to Edward, he was a little boy. I was a little girl. We were both seven years old.

We seemed to have gone back in time. Our bodies were little, but our minds were still at the age of thirty. I still had my memories, I think. I still knew I was looking for someone, but I couldn’t place it.

We walked outside together, trying to figure out what was happening to us.

While we stood on the front lawn of my childhood home, two boys walked up to us. I recognized them as Jasper and Emmett, Edward’s childhood friends from Chicago.

Something inside of me told me this was it, that this was the end. Edward had to return to his world. I did not want to say goodbye. I knew when he left, my memories would start all over and I would forget about him.

Edward kept telling me we would be together again. I was crying frantically; I refused to say goodbye.

Finally, I had no other choice.

“Bella, my love, I will see you in ten years. We will meet again.”

“Edward, I love you, please don’t go!” I cried.

He kissed my cheek, and whispered goodbye in my ear.

I slumped down to the ground while I watched Edward walk away. When they reached the end of the driveway they disappeared.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I ran back in my house and upstairs into my room. I lay on my bed and cried my tears into my pillow. When that wasn’t enough I began screaming and pounding my fists into my pillow.

“Bella! Bella! Wake up, Bells!”

I heard a voice, and slowly opened my eyes.

“Bells, you were having a nightmare,” Charlie said.

I looked at him and then around my room. For a brief second, I remembered loving someone, I remembered a child, and I remembered another life.

I wiped tears from my face.

“That’s funny, daddy. I don’t remember having a nightmare.”

~10 Years Later~

Today was an exciting day! We were actually getting a new student in our small town. No one new had moved here since Mike Newton, and that was 7 years ago.

So far I hadn’t seen the new kid, but I heard his name was Edward. I hoped he was at least cute. I probably would have seen him at lunch, if I weren’t stuck in the library working on my English project. If he was cute, I hoped no one had called dibs on him yet.

I walked into my biology class and sat down at my lab table. I was the only one without a partner because of an odd number of students.

I sat there and doodled in my notebook. All of a sudden I heard the shuffle of the lab bench next to me. That was when I saw him.

“Hi, I’m Bella Swan. You must be Edward,” I said, as I looked into his eyes. It was like déjà vu. He felt it too.

“Have we met before?” he asked.

“I don’t think so.”

**S Meyer owns it**

Red

2010-05-07T23:50:00.004-05:00

The smell of blood is everywhere. It’s lingering in the air. How am I going to explain this? Why didn’t Alice know? Why didn’t she warn me?

I just couldn’t help myself. She smelled so sweet and as the last drops of her blood trickled down my throat, I couldn’t hold back a satisfied smile.

Now we would have to leave Forks and start new in another town. First, I would need to get rid of the body. I can’t believe I did this, but I’m so glad I did.

I was right; she was exactly my brand of heroin.

**S Meyer owns it**

Restraint

2010-05-07T23:49:00.002-05:00

I stare down at the happy couple, as I perch on a rooftop. They are dancing together, happily. Something I would never do again with my beloved. They took him from me.

I will take from them, what he took from me. An eye for an eye, or in this case, a love for a love. I will not stop, until I get what is mine; revenge will never be sweeter.

I know I can swoop down right now and kill the girl fairly easily, leaving him devastated. I will get my revenge, but for now I will just wait.

**S Meyer owns it**

Bitter

2010-05-07T23:47:00.002-05:00

“You and me. We used to be together. Everyday together ALWAYS!”

“Jacob, will you please shut up?” Sam interrupted my singing.

“I can’t help it, man. I miss her.”

“Well, she chose those bloodsuckers, so get over it!” Sam urged.

I can’t get over it, I love her. I should have been her choice. I could have been good for her. Why did she have to go and marry that leech?

“Don’t speak. I know what you’re thinking. I don’t need your reasons. Don’t tell me cause it hurts.”

“That’s it! I’m turning the radio off!” Sam yelled.

“Don’t speak…”

**S Meyer owns it**

My Twilight Merchandise

2010-01-19T14:53:00.012-06:00

So this is pretty self explanatory...

My most prized Twilight possession!

My sweet dear pillow....

Umm...What is he doing here?

Jewelery box I got for Christmas, my 3 New Moon ticket stubs, and an Edward chocolate!

This poster is on the wall directly in front of my treadmill. So as I run, (well, walk...) I am going towards Rob!

My magazines!

My books!

These were my Christmas presents, from my mom! (Did I mention, I'm 26?)

Laws of Nature

2010-01-06T10:58:00.001-06:00

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner..

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Three Hollywood: vanityfair.com

2009-11-18T07:59:00.001-06:00

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Three Hollywood: vanityfair.com

6 degrees of Twilight

2009-11-15T15:40:00.007-06:00

So the other night I was laying in bed watching, Steel Magnolias. My husband walked in the room and complained that I was watching Twilight yet again. Um...no, hello! He was like, "isn't that Bella's dad?" Of course, I was like NO! But upon closer look, Tom Skerritt aka Drum sorta kinda looked like Billy Burke aka Charlie. But I'm sure it's all in the 'stache.

I realize the picture of Tom Skerritt is from Top Gun, but I couldn't find a good pic from Steel Magnolias. Funny how one thing non-Twi related can suddenly become all about Twilight. So now that I was sitting there thinking about Twilight while watching Steel Magnolias, it hit me! Dylan McDermott who played Jackson in Steel Magnolias, also played Roy, Jess's dad, in The Messengers. Jess was played by Kristen Stewart, who is most known for playing Bella in Twilight. See how that works? hahaha

Is there any that you can think of? Leave a comment!

How Did I Get Here? part 2

2009-11-12T23:19:00.010-06:00

So continuing on how I got here...

So after I finished Breaking Dawn, I was sad. It was over, and that made me a sad panda. So what did I do? I read Midnight Sun on Stephanie Meyer's website. Of course it's not complete so that only satisfied my "thirst" for a few hours.

The next couple of days were spent on Myspace, looking up Twilight bumper stickers. Then one day I googled something (for the life of me, I can't remember exactly what it was!), but I ended up at Twitarded. I was on the site for hours, looking at archived posts. That's when I saw it. Twismut. Fan fiction. Why the hell hadn't I thought of that?! Twitarded's own JennyJerkface wrote some nice smut called Le Petit Mort. When you click the link, scroll to the bottom for Le Petit Mort. Above it is JJ's awesome ass fic called 15 Step, which is now on Fanfiction.net! Read them both, you will not be sorry!

So after reading JJ's fics I, naturally, googled "Twilight fanfiction" (it was possibly something dirtier, but hey not important..). I'll admit it, I'm a first link clicker. Always have been. I always click on the first link that google gives me...but hey it's brought me to some great places. And it brought me to Random Acts of Rob TwiPorn Library. I was in heaven! A list of twismut just for me! I was so transfixed on the smut, that it took me to realize that Random Acts of Rob, was an actual website with other content! Which you should check out! So of course RAoR brought me to fanfiction.net. You can check out all my favorites on my profile here.

So another time on Twitarded, I was going through their blog roll, and I came across Twilog. I absolutely love this site! Fuck Yeah Friday is my favorite feature! You have to check it out! This was another site, that I sat there...for hours, going through the entire site. Literally...until I got to the first post ever. (I think I should mention that during this time, my husband was deployed and so I had a lot of free time on my hands...um yeah.) Also on Twilog, Whitley recommends fan fiction. And there's nothing better than fan fiction, is there? Anywho, you have to check it out, now!

All three of these sites have been added to my bookmarks under a tab named, Twilight. I want to mention that I hardly ever add anything to my bookmarks. I will go to a site for years, and never add it. I'm weird, I know. So by adding these sights, you know I'm for reals about how much I love them.

Also you should follow them on Twitter, because it's cool like that.

Twilog_Whitley **From Twilog

JennyJerkface **From Twitarded

SnarkierThanYou **From Twitarded

Late2thePartee **From RAoR

Also, please to be leaving some comments. Seriously!

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Two Hollywood: vanityfair.com

2009-11-11T00:02:00.003-06:00

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Two Hollywood: vanityfair.com

Seriously, can this man get any hotter?

How Did I Get Here? part 1

2009-11-10T22:22:00.001-06:00

So here it is...9 days until the premier of New Moon, and sometimes I wonder how did I get here? Not here as in this blog, but here as in the Twilight fandom...which is the best fandom ever!

Ok, so first, I came into this kinda backwards. I watched the movie first (gah! I know!). I actually watched it on March 17, 2009 with my husband, it was a bootlegged copy (shhh...) and Edward didn't even sparkle! I thought it was good, but never really gave it a second thought. Actually my sister, who is now in the fandom, made fun of me for watching it! I laughed at myself as well. My sister and I would be on the phone looking at bumper stickers on Myspace, and making fun of all the Twilight related ones...we should have been shunned!

Fast forward to May 6, 2009. My mom was coming to visit for my community college graduation, I drove to KCI to pick her up. In her tote bag was a certain book. I laughed at my mom for reading Twilight. I mean really laughed...and asked her if she was 15. Again I should be shunned. She said it was good and that I should read it. I rolled my eyes.

A few weeks later on May 22, 2009 I got a package. My mom sent me Twilight and Confessions of a Shopaholic. I read Confessions of a Shopaholic first. That's how much I did not want to read Twilight. I was saving it for last. So I read Confessions of a Shopaholic in less than 24 hours, it was really good by the way.

May 24th. The pivotal day. I woke up and did the usual blah blah blah. I decided to read Twilight. That was it. I was hooked. I took my son to the park, and can't even remember how long we stayed because I just kept reading. Finally I was understanding some of the things I had read on bumper stickers. Stupid shiny Volvo owner...ahhh, yes, now I understand.

Ok, so I finished Twilight that night. I actually threw on some flip flops got my son out of bed and went on the hunt for New Moon. Ended up going to 3 different places before I found it. I also bought Twilight on DVD so I could have a good copy, no more bootleg non sparkling Edwards for me!

I ended up reading the whole series in about 4 1/2 days. I couldn't stop reading. I think I lost 5 pounds in those 4 1/2 days from not eating. Hey it's hard to eat while reading, and I'll be damned if I stopped or if I dripped anything on my precious books!

Three words....Thank you Mommy!

December 2009: Bruce Weber on Robert Pattinson: Part One Hollywood: vanityfair.com

2009-11-02T00:30:00.004-06:00

December 2009: Bruce Weber on Robert Pattinson: Part One Hollywood: vanityfair.com

Check these out...OMG, so hot!!

Random Thoughts For The Day

2009-11-01T18:44:00.004-06:00

My mom sent me this email and I just had to share...its freakin hilarious!

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. **Mine would have Robert Pattinson over a million times!**
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. **Agreed, this sucks big time!**
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
There is a great need for a sarcasm font. **That would be awesome!**
How the hell are you suppose to fold a fitted shit? **Yeah, mine are thrown in balls in my linen closet...shhh.**
Was learning cursive really necessary? **Probably not, can't remember the last time I used it.**
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. **Always thought this too!**
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories. **Very true, way too many to even get started!**
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. **Haven't even messed with Blue Ray yet...**
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of word and it asks me if I want to save my changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. **I always click save like a million times. Then I exit and then reopen the document to make sure it's all there...can we say OCD?**
"Do not machine was or tumble dry" means I will never wash this--ever. **Very guilty of this...lol**
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? **This pisses me off so bad, seriously where did they go??**
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. **Always seems to happen to me!**
I keep some peoples phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. **Guilty...**
My 4-year old son asked me in the car today, "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that? **My kid asks weird stuff all the time!**
I think the freezer deserves a light as well. **Yeah, why doesn't it have one?**
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay. **True, true!**

Twilight Fandom Gives Back - Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation

2009-10-25T17:48:00.003-05:00

Twilight Fandom Gives Back - Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation

Show your support, and help out!

Blogger ADD

2009-10-21T09:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I have blogger ADD...and I can never make my mind up on what I really want to blog about. I'm gonna keep my stories up, but I think I'll also just blog about random stuff that makes me happy!

Like.....

Can't believe it's almost here! So excited!!!!!

The Bounty of Mary Jane part 3

2009-09-13T12:25:00.000-05:00

**So this is a short, but kind of intentional...**

Despite the story I just heard, I was on a plane. Headed to a place I've never been. Looking for a girl, I had to find.

As I fastened my seatbelt, my thoughts once again went to Jaynie.

She had never mentioned her family. From talking to her brother, I learned that their father had left when Jaynie was a year old. They never heard from him again.

They lived with their mother in Seattle. Michael had said that Jaynie and their mother were very close. Jaynie would even prefer going to the movies with her instead of friends. They had weekly dinners with their grandma. Even though their family was broken, Jaynie never thought of it like that. She was always happy, Michael said.

Their mother, Allison was a district manager for Bank of America. Every year in June she would fly to Charlotte, NC for a convention. And every year Jaynie would bake cookies for her mother’s trip. In 2000, when Jaynie was 15, she baked for her mother for the last time.

The plane crashed. There were no survivors. Jaynie not only lost her mother, she lost her best friend.

Michael was 20 and still in college, so Jaynie went to live with her grandma. Michael would visit on the weekends and said Jaynie had become a zombie. All she did was sleep. By Christmas time she was doing better. And when summer came around again, Michael said she was pretty much back to being herself.

Jaynie was already close to her grandma, but living with her brought them even closer. I learned that Jaynie was even named after her. Jaynie loved it when her grandma would tell stories of her mother. It helped to fill the void that now existed.

Jaynie lived with her grandma until August of 2006. She had just graduated high school and was preparing for her first semester of college.

The week before school started Jaynie moved into her dorm room at the University of Washington. One day that week, she tried to call her grandma. After many attempts and no answer, Jaynie drove to her grandma’s house. She walked in and saw her grandma sitting in her recliner. Jaynie approached her and discovered she was dead. Only 3 years since losing her mother, and now she had lost her grandma. She had passed in her sleep from old age. However, Jaynie didn’t see it that way.

The Bounty of Mary Jane, part 2

2009-08-19T16:53:00.001-05:00

I needed to find her. I had to.

I didn't even know where to start. I had no clue where she called home. She had told stories of where she had lived. Places ranging from Savannah to San Diego and everywhere in between.

I picked up her phone. Scrambled to get to the contacts. There were only four. Me, Bank of America, Lizzie- who was Johnny’s wife, and a name I had never heard before, Michael.

Not knowing what to do first, I called Lizzie.
"Hey Jaynie!” Lizzie cheered.
"Lizzie, hey it's Jackson. Have, have you heard from Jaynie?” I stuttered.
"Oh hey Jacks, no I haven't, sorry.” she began. But I hung up before she could finish.

I didn't know who Michael was, but I called anyway.

He answered on the third ring.
"Jaynie, What the hell? It's only 5:30 here!”
He was somewhere on the west coast.
I didn't say anything.
"Jaynie? Hello?” he asked again.
I finally said something.
"Who are you?” I asked.
"Huh? Who is this?” he replied back.
"My name is Jackson, I um.” I started.
"Oh, Jackson. Right."
He knew who I was.
"I'm Michael, Jaynie’s brother", he replied back.
"Brother? She never mentioned you."
"Yeah, figures. Why are you calling? Oh wait, she’s gone isn't she?” he asked casually.
"How would you know that?” I asked nervously.
"Damn, man. It's complicated. Wait. She left her phone?"
"Yeah, and note that said don't look for me", I replied.
"Wow, man. Sorry. Look, this is her story to tell. I can't..."
I interrupted, almost begging.
"Please! Tell me something! I have to find her! I love her...” I trailed off.
"Jeez, man. Alright.” Michael started.

I took a seat on the couch. I sat there and I listened. Jaynies past was heartbreaking. It explained the pain in her eyes.

In a sort of daze, I had made my way to the Montgomery Airport. The next flight to Seattle was in three hours. I bought my ticket, checked my one suitcase, and made my way through security. I sat down by the window and pulled out my phone. I flipped it open and smiled when the screen lit up. It was Jaynie and I. LIzzie had taken the picture with my phone, while we were at a BBQ. I called my boss, Tom, and half explained the situation. He was understanding. I had worked for him since I was 18, eight years and I had only called in three times.

I sat there and stared out the window at the planes. My thoughts drifted to Jaynie. I wasn't positive that she would be in Seattle, but Michael seemed to think she would be. Never hurts to try.

Four months was not a long time to be with someone, but with Jaynie it was different. I felt like I had known her forever. Even with not knowing everything. We just fit.

The morning after the night we met, I asked her to come to breakfast with me. She accepted and we went to Waffle House. We sat there and ate and talked. We were there for two hours. We talked about movies, music, and other trivial things. Our interests were very similar. And where they differed they still fit.

When she was ready to go, we got into my truck and she pointed me in the direction of her place. When she told me to turn left, and I realized it was a hotel, I looked to her questioning eyes.
"I've only been in town a few days," she explained.
Without even thinking, I blurted out "You can stay with me."
"No, I couldn't do that..."
"You shouldn't stay here. I want you to stay with me", I said.
She looked up at me, hesitated, but said, "Ok."
I parked in front of her room, started to get out of the truck, but she stopped me.
"I'll get my stuff, it'll only take a minute."
She was back shortly with only one duffle bag. She threw it in the back of the truck, and motioned to the hotel office. She checked out and got back in the truck.

I couldn't explain it then, or even now fully, but I just wanted to be with her. It just fit. It was cliché, but it was true.

An announcement was made and I got in line to board the plane. Nervous, because I hated to fly and because, what if I couldn't find her?

The Bounty of Mary Jane

2009-08-16T19:40:00.005-05:00

**Ok, so this in not part of our story...but still a story. I had an idea and just had to get it out...**

Don't look for me.

I read those four words, over and over.

I've always kept my promises, but this was not something I could do. I would look for her. Always, her.

"Don't go falling in love, cowboy. I never stick around for long." Those were the words she said when we first met.

Johnny and I were at the Big Star Tavern. Playing pool and drinking brew. Typical Friday night in Prattville. That's when she walked in. Jaynie Hale. She walked over to the bar and ordered a Corona.

Johnny and me continued our game of pool. "Johnny, you are going down!” I said as I aimed my shot.
"Can I play winner?” I heard a gentle raspy voice ask.
I looked up and there she was. Long curly chestnut hair and the brightest green eyes I had ever seen. She was wearing a gray shirt with the words LOVE written across it, jeans that had holes in the knees, and a pair of converse.
"Where you from?” I asked knowing she was not from around here.
"Oh, here and there.” she said as she prepared her pool stick.
"Eight ball, corner pocket," I said as I sunk the shot.
"Damn Jacks! That's two in a row!” Johnny complained at his loss.
"I'll stop that streak", she said confidently, staring at me.
"I'm Jackson by the way, and this is Johnny", I said as I racked the balls.
"Hey!” Johnny said with a wave.
"I'm Jaynie, Nice to meet you both," she said as she broke.
"I call solids!” she smirked.
I smiled at her brightly, "Now that's what I call a real women!”
That's when she said it.
"Don't go falling in love, cowboy. I never stick around for long."

The three of us played pool and bullshitted around until last call.
"Alright, Jacks. Catch ya later man", Johnny said as he got into his SUV.
"Yeah, see ya!” I called out.
"Nice to have met you Johnny!” Jaynie called out.

"So, Jaynie...Can I call you sometime?” I asked running my hands through my hair.
"That might be strange...” She trailed off.
"Whys that?” I asked curiously.
"You can't call me, if I'm laying next to you..."
I smiled as I opened the truck door for her.

That was how it all started.

She came home with me that night, and stayed every night for the next four months.

There was something between us that was electric. It was primal and raw. I loved every minute of it. And so did she.

I worked during the day for Tom's Construction. I hated it, but it was good money. Every evening when I got home, Jaynie was there. Usually wearing my boxers and a wife beater. She would always cook for me. I never asked her to and tried to protest. But she insisted. And it was always good.

Everything was always good. Jaynie never offered up much information. But it didn't bother me. She never asked for anything. She always gave me her all, and I in return did the same thing. There was innocence on her face and pain in her eyes. Still, there was always a smile on her face.

December 2nd. It was exactly four months since I met Jaynie. I came home that evening. Everything was the same. With the exception that Jaynie was now wearing sweats, instead of boxers. The winter was bitter.

We ate dinner together and watched a movie. Later that night when we went to bed, it was different. We made love, but there was a longing in Jaynies touch. Her kisses were deeper. When we were finished, Jaynie got in the shower. I heard soft whimpers.
"Are you ok?” I asked standing in the bathroom doorway.
"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine, I'll be out in a minute."

I lay back down on the bed, and Jaynie joined me a few minutes later. Her hair smelled of flowers, it always did. She rested her head on my chest and wrapped her arm around my waist. Our legs intertwined. I stroked her wet hair.
"Jacks," Jaynie said softly.
"Yeah Jaynie," I said as I kissed her hair.
"I love you," she said gently.
"I love you too, Jaynie.” I said as I squeezed her tighter.
A few minutes later we were both asleep.

I woke up the next morning. And that's when I saw it. On her pillow, still damp from her hair was the note. It was written on the same stationary she had used to write me little notes around the small apartment. Light blue paper, with even lighter blue peace signs scattered across it.

Don't look for me.

I got up, note still in hand.
"Jaynie?” I called out.
I went into the bathroom. Her toothbrush was gone. I opened the medicine cabinet, her mousse, perfume and deodorant, were all gone.

I rushed back into the bedroom and grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand. I dialed her number.
A few seconds later, I heard the chorus of 'Use Somebody' going off. Phone still up to my ear and note still in hand, I walked into the living room. There on the coffee table was her cell phone. She had left and didn't want me to find her.

Here Without You

2009-08-13T22:57:00.002-05:00

February 28, 2003

Waking up this day, knowing what was impending, left me with a gut wrenching feeling. I tried to smile. So did he. But they were fake. Both of us trying to hold back tears. We both got dressed. Him in his Desert Combat Uniform. I put on jeans and my green US Army shirt, to show support.

I watched as he packed some last minute things. We were in the "army room" of our small townhouse. I looked around at the growing collection of baby items. Tears welled in my eyes as my thoughts questioned if he would see the birth of our child. I was due in August, and we were unsure of the date of his return. He grabbed his bags and we headed downstairs to the living room.

We took pictures with the Polaroid. We tried to look happy. But the sadness loomed. Unfortunately, the time came and we headed down to his unit. 501st, Voice of the Eagle. Fort Campbell, KY. A few hours passed. They were filled with clutter and introductions. Somber was everywhere.

Eventually a formation was called. I hugged Matt, gave him a quick kiss and said, "See you in a minute." The formation was in place. I was anxious to see Matt one last time. A command sounded. The soldiers started to march. My heart stopped. Tears fell- hard. Without even realizing it, my feet carried me in the direction of Matt.

Hyperventilating, I was stopped. A grandmother, I had been introduced to, put her arm around me. I hugged her tight, crying into her shoulder. "He'll be back", I heard her say. She walked me to my car, asking if I was okay to drive. Shaking, I got into the car. Frozen, I sat there for a while. My husband was gone. Headed to Iraq, and we didn't even get a proper goodbye.

I headed home, tears still falling. I walked into our empty house with an empty heart.

You Are Mine

2009-08-13T22:42:00.003-05:00

July 23, 2001

I had an alright day at work. Nothing special or out of the ordinary happened. I came home to our apartment. Usual routine- go in bedroom to change out of work clothes. Putting on a tank top and sweat pants. I came into the living room to watch some TV.

Matt was in the kitchen. I couldn't find the remote. I called out to Matt to see if he had it, he was always leaving it in the kitchen. He said he didn't' have it. He told me to look in the couch cushions, another spot the remote often ended up. I briefly checked- nothing. I started walking into the kitchen, Matt stopped me- urging me once again to look in the couch cushions. I stubbornly argued it wasn't there. He urged once again. I was getting annoyed- it wasn't there! I pushed past Matt into the kitchen- and what do you know? The remote was on the counter, like usual. Rolling my eyes, with an 'I told you so' face made my way back to the living room.

Watching TV, I was semi annoyed when Matt blocked my view and crouched down in front of me. He said he wanted a hug. So we hugged. But as we did, I could feel him digging for something. He quickly and swiftly pulled out a square black box, flipping it open. Before I could react, the words were out. "Kristen, will you marry me?" I didn't say anything, I just grabbed him and embraced him tightly with the cheesiest grin on my face. He pulled away, took the ring out of the box and placed it on my left ring finger. I admired it, elated. Happiness was surging through my body.

Matt then said, "You know you haven't answered me..." I looked at him and said "What? Did you think I would say no?" "Of course!", I said right before leaning into him and showing him how happy I was with a deep and passionate kiss.

I Want To Hold Your Hand

2009-08-13T22:30:00.003-05:00

One night, was it October? Nicole and I decided to get shitfaced and then roam the neighborhood. That's when I saw him, Matt and his friend James were walking right towards us. Being drunk and uninhibited, I walk right up to him and say, "Hey! You're the guy who wants to rape me!" He was confused. Turns out he didn't tell London he was going to rape me. He told London he was going to try to get with me, as in a girlfriend way. London freaked and told me the rape story so I would stay away from Matt. I'm guessing in hopes that one day, London and I could be more than friends.

Although I was drunk, I remember (most of) that night. I thought Matt was really cute. And even though he tried to exude a tough exterior, I knew he was sweet. I was wasted and kept making passes at him, he ignored them. He later told me he wouldn't take advantage of a drunk girl. I remember complementing his eyes more than once. They were a bluish gray, that I just wanted to be consumed in. I also kept asking his name, because at the time Matt was too hard to remember.

Later that night, me and Nicole went back to my house. Recounting our night and wondering what kind of fools we had made out of ourselves. We went on the carport to smoke a cigarette. Matt walked by and saw us. He came and sat down next to us. I was so giddy inside. He looked so cute wearing a black hoodie and jean shorts. I commented on how big his feet were. He took his shoe off and spread out his foot. I remember liking the way his foot looked in his sock. So cute. I put my foot inside his shoe, which grossed Nicole out, but I felt closer to him. I stared at his face as he talked, He had the light remnants of a mustache growing in. Not yet a man, but definitely not a boy.

I can't remember how long we stayed out there and talked. But I do know I had butterflies. I really liked him.

From that night on, Matt and I hung out randomly. Helplessly flirting, while I waited and wanted him to make a move. Then one day in December, it happened.

We would always hug when we said goodbye. That day as we hugged, he turned his head and pressed his lips to mine. It only lasted a second, but I was beaming with excitement.

A few days later, December 12th, Nicole was spending the night- or weekend, as usual. Matt had come over. We were sitting in the living room on my mom's green leather couch. He leaned in, and once again pressed his mouth to mine. I froze, and the only reaction I was able to produce was a smile. He pulled back and looked at me wearily. I looked at him, and asked for him to try again. He leaned back in, and this time I reacted. Our mouths slowly opened, our tongues lightly touching.

I'm not sure how long the kiss lasted, I was too wrapped up in it. That whole night was spent kissing. Matt's friend Josh had come to hang out later on, and Nicole and him hit it off. We all hung out together, not talking. Just kissing. December 12th had become a day with meaning.

Back Story

2009-08-12T19:20:00.005-05:00

Lakeland, Florida. I had moved there at the age of ten. My dad had died barely a year before. Maybe my mom need a change. I'm not sure. But the summer of 1993, we visited some friends of my moms then boyfriend, Marc. By August we were moved into the apartment. I shared a room with my sister, Meagan. I hated it. I was ten and had no privacy because of a nosy six year old.

School was starting soon. I was so nervous. Not only was it junior high, I knew absolutely no one. No comfort of 5th grade friends to gather around with, comparing schedules. Instead, my mom walked me to my homeroom. I hated it and loved it at the same time. Embarrassed, yet comforted.

When I was 15, we moved into Kings Manor. By this time, my mom had remarried to a man named Rick and I had an almost 2 year old brother. Kings Manor was the ghetto. A trailer park, that defined Trailer Trash. I hated it. I was embarrassed to have my friends over. My best friend, Nicole, didn't care. She was always there for me. I had learned that a guy I was friends with in 8th grade also lived there, London. Straight up hippie parents.

I took comfort knowing at least one person. Me and London started hanging out everyday. He would come over and we would talk on my carport and smoke cigarettes. He had a crush on me, everyone knew. But I saw nothing more than a friend.

Summer of 1998, London was going to New York to visit family. He came by before he left, hanging out as usual. He was trying to get me to show him my boobs as a goodbye present. Never gonna happen. Right before he left, he told me to watch out for Matt. Matt was a neighborhood kid, I had only seen a few times. When I asked why, he said Matt was going to steal my virginity by raping me. Every time I saw Matt after that, I would go the other direction. Scared shitless.

A Little Of This...Some Of That

Side By Side of Speak and Twilight

Alone

Obsession

Prelude

Red

Restraint

Bitter

My Twilight Merchandise

Laws of Nature

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Three Hollywood: vanityfair.com

6 degrees of Twilight

How Did I Get Here? **part 2**

November 2009: Bruce Weber's portraits of Robert Pattinson: Part Two Hollywood: vanityfair.com

How Did I Get Here? **part 1**

December 2009: Bruce Weber on Robert Pattinson: Part One Hollywood: vanityfair.com

Random Thoughts For The Day

Twilight Fandom Gives Back - Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation

Blogger ADD

The Bounty of Mary Jane part 3

The Bounty of Mary Jane, part 2

The Bounty of Mary Jane

Here Without You

You Are Mine

I Want To Hold Your Hand

Back Story

How Did I Get Here? part 2

How Did I Get Here? part 1